Don't Call Me "Teacher"

"DON'T call me 'Teacher!' "

While in Canada and many other places it's usually a good thing to call someone by there name (since doing otherwise usually indicates you've forgotten it,) in Mexico, it's much more respectful to call someone by their title.

In Canada we use titles only for those who have gained a higher title, like "doctor" (for physicians or academics), "pastor" in a church, etc.  Mr. and Mrs. are used for the older generation, but this usage is wearing away in favour of first names in may situations where it used to be necessary.  We also almost always add the last name; for example, I would call a professor from my university "Doctor Faber" or "Professor Faber," and never simply "Doctor."

In Mexico, on the other hand, anyone who has a title or a professional position can be called by that title, and most often is.  Teachers, for example, are always called "teacher" by students and others in the community; even an accountant is often called "accountant" as a title. (As in, if you see your accountant, you could say "Good morning Accountant! How are you?")  Names are usually excluded, but sometimes first names are added.

When I first started teaching here, I listened to all the students call me "teacher," and I assumed they simply forgot my name.  So after I made a habit of writing my name on the top left corner of the board as a reminder (without drawing too much attention to it), I realized that they still always called me "teacher."  At that point I realized that it was a cultural difference, and starting explaining to my students that in North American culture a simple first name was fine (these were adults only slightly younger than me.)

One day, however, one student explained that in Mexico it was a matter of respect; it didn't seem right to call a teacher by simple first name ("teacher" + [first name] is fine, even from children).  When I told her that it just didn't make sense in English or Anglophone culture, she, along with others wanted to know how they could show respect in English.  I told her that between grown adults of the same general age group, especially in a setting anything short of very high formality, first names were just the way it was.  I then went on to explain the more formal situations in which titles could be used, and that for teachers, other adults would only use a title if the person were a doctor or professor.  So, from that day onward, she jokingly called me "Professor Wall."  (So much for respect!)  I appreciated the joke, though; it helped her learn a cultural feature of English-speaking countries.


Respectful forms of address, titles, etc. are much more important here, and many people, young and old, feel they are necessary.  People who say learning a language is learning a culture are right; without understanding the culture, you can't get the language 100% right.

"I want Canada music."

These days, my son loves the idea of Canada. (Photo from Wikimedia Commons.)

Ever since my parents left on airplane to head back to Canada after their last visit, my 3-year-old son has been very intrigued by Canada.  When we get on the bus, sometimes he asks us if the bus is taking us to Canada.  If I say no, he asks if the bus is going to Cancun, where we can get an airplane to Canada.  When we ask where he wants to go in the evening, he says Canada.  A few days ago, he was packing a little bag he has to go to Canada.  (The baby's clothes, diapers, toy cars and a book were the key items.)  He loves to wear a Canada t-shirt he has, and gets excited when he sees others wearing Canada shirts; this is fairly common among Mexicans here in Playa, since it seems fairly common for Canadian tourists to give away Canada paraphernalia to their hotel workers, tour guides, etc.

Yesterday morning I asked him what kind of music he wanted to listen to.  His answer:

"I want Canada music!"

The music which best fits that description is Gordon Lightfoot.  Of course, there is lots of great Canadian music of all kinds, but little of it is as Canadian in its essence.  He was very happy with the choice, and kept coming up to ask me, "This is Canada music?"

The only problem was I couldn't get him to say "Canadian music."  Every time I corrected him, he just insisted that it's "Canada music."  Oh well, that will come.  At least he's getting to like my music too; a while back, he always preferred his mom's music.

(See: Gordon Lightfoot for Mexico; A Musical Exchange)

No worries on the Mexican side, though. He proudly identifies himself with both countries, both flags (which appear on his blanket,) and both languages.  The two concepts show up at different times, but currently he has a strong identification with both.

Interesting Expats part 3 - A traveller who never travelled ...

While some who travel, really aren't travellers, other ...

This one is not really about an expat, but someone who probably should have been an expat - i.e. live in a different country.

The second house I lived in Cuernavaca was a 10 minute walk from downtown. Right across the road was one of the many little convenience stores that people here open in the front part of their homes.

The owner had never travelled far beyond the area directly surrounding Mexico City.  His family - a son, daughter-in-law and 2 grandsons - were just like any Mexican family.

But this shop owner knew English, French and German.  He had practiced some English with Americans he knew in Mexico City.  German and French he had learned from those do-it-your-self language kits that everyone buys and no one really uses.  The amazing part was that he actually knew German and French quite well, well enough to get by in either of those countries.

I was amazed by this.  So many expats hardly learn the language of the country they're living in, especially if their spouse speaks their language.  When people don't have a compelling need to learn a new language (work, pay raise, a potential girlfriend, etc.) they usually give up their efforts pretty quickly, and are satisfied with a handful of poorly spoken phrases mixed with English - just enough to get what you want.

This guy learned 3 foreign languages, on his own, without any daily motivation to do so!

Also amazing is that he never travelled, or at least worked in tourism to put these languages into use.  Next time I go back to Cuernavaca I'll go back to that shop to see if he's still there.

I'm really hoping to get news that he's packed up and left for Paris, or something like that ...


For posts about expats, read:

Interesting Expats Part 1 - The Priest

Interesting Expats Part 2 - The Drunk "Dentist"
What is an "Expat"?

The Speeding Ticket

The speed limit was 70 KM/H - about 45 MPH

Yesterday, I was driving to Cancun to get Mexican passports for my family.  Just entering the city, we passed a police check, slowing down to go over the massive speed bump like everyone else.  About five minutes later, a police car approached, and told me to pull over (they use a speaker or megaphone; their lights are always flashing.)

Once pulled over and out of the car, with my Canadian driver's license in the hands of the police, the officer informed me that I was driving 90 km/h in a 70 zone.  He was right. But I was actually the slowest car on the road.  I politely told him so.  He answered that he had been pursuing me since the police check, but I had been going so fast, that he couldn't catch me; I flew through the police check so fast that they weren't able to stop me there either.  (Really - a cop car that can't go 90? That's about 55 miles per hour.) He told me he would have to fine me 1020 pesos (about $90), which I could pay at the police station.

Knowing that arguing isn't a good idea, and tat I really was speeding, I said OK.  (The whole time I pretended I didn't speak Spanish and my wife was translating for me.)

I asked for the ticket.  The officer started writing the ticket, slowly, hesitating, and reminding, with special emphasis several times that it would be over 1000 pesos.  I said, "That's fine.  I'll pay it at the station."  Politely and patiently.

He put down the pen (before finishing the first line) and asked to see the registration. Suddenly a whole new set of "problems" appeared.  First of all, the registration was "invalid" since it was from Mexico City, and not this state (a typical, but entirely false, complaint for out-of-state registrations.)  Also, since the car wasn't registered in my name, they would have to seize the car and charge me with theft.  We told them, again politely, they could contact the owners to confirm that they had lent us the car (which they had, especially for this little trip.)

So, at this point, he went back to the speeding issue.  Driving that fast was really reckless driving, not just speeding.  It would have to be a much heftier fine, and combined with vehicle theft, that was good cause to take me into custody.  And I was an American, which meant the fine would be bigger yet. (He hadn't looked at my license closely enough, I guess.)  He would also have to keep my license as collateral.

We patiently reminded him that he could contact the owners, and for any other infraction, he was free to write up the tickets, which we would pay that day at the police station.  My wife showed him my Mexican electoral card to prove I was a Mexican citizen.

I added that I would have to see their police I.D. to copy their names, I.D. numbers for reference at the station, and ask about the specifics about these problems.  I got out a pen and paper to copy.

He put away his pad, and went to chat with his partner and came back.

"We're going to take it easy on you guys since you have the two kids with you.  No ticket this time.  But if we catch you on the way back, we'll take the car.  We're giving your info to the other police."  He got in his car in a hurry and sped away.

Of course, they were looking for a bribe.  Every point they made was entirely ridiculous, except for the speeding part - but even that was ridiculously exaggerated, especially since other cars were flying by me.

I can't say I'm an expert on dealing with corrupt police in Mexico, since most of the police I've dealt with have been very reasonable, and never asked me for a bribe (this is the second exception.)  In one case, when we were visiting Valladolid with my parents, and we were in a little accident that was clearly our fault, the police were actually helpful, polite and very fair.  People have told me that in Cancun, the police were never corrupt, until a large number of officers from other parts of the country started arriving (people always specifically accuse Mexico City, but the problem is just as bad in many other places.)  I don't know if this is true, or just one of those local pride things.

If what I understand is correct though, the best approach to take is:

• stay calm, NEVER GET ANGRY
• don't argue; you can give a contrary opinion, but politely, and carefully so that it's not taken as aggression; on the other hand, sometimes it may best to stay neutral
• don't offer a bribe

For me the last point is a very important matter.  Members of the police force continue to practice corruption because the majority of Mexicans will offer the bribe almost immediately to save the time and the money.  I know a handful of middle-class Mexicans who will spend half their day sitting at the road side instead of paying the bribe. At the end they are almost always let go without a ticket as I was.  (If you really do get a ticket, just go and pay it!)  But these guys aren't trying to save the cash; they feel strongly about corruption, and are willing to loose time and money to fight it.  I admire them.  The last thing these people need is foreigners showing up in Mexico who feed the corruption.  Being able to cash in on a Gringo is like a double bonus for that kind of officer.  So many foreigners think, "Well this is how they do it here, so ..."

If you are a foreigner driving in Mexico, and you get pulled over, just remember the three points above.  If they are just looking for a bribe, it's very unlikely that anything would happen to you, as long as you stay calm.  It's not worth their time; they can just pull over the next car.

Of course it's really important to remember that it's a different country, the police work in a different way, and laws are applied very differently, but participating in corruption is aggravating a problem that causes many problems for this country.  It's possible to respect the differences without participating in the problem.

What really makes you Mexican?

Mexican Passport

Officially, according to Mexican Law, a Mexican is anyone born in this country, naturalized in this country, or born outside of Mexico to a parent who was born in Mexico.  Because of this last one, I am a Mexican citizen.  I have a passport, and the official voters ID, national identification number, etc.  But neither mother (who was born in Mexico, thus giving both of us right to ), nor I are culturally Mexican.

While Mexican law doesn't have any real requirements regarding language, culture or ethnicity, to most of the world, including Mexicans and non-Mexicans, these three points define being Mexican, entirely.  So, how Mexican am I, really?  Let's consider the three points.

Language.  I speak Spanish half decently.  I have an unmistakable foreign accent, but I've got passed the point where everyone automatically assumes I'm a gringo.  I've had people ask if I'm French, German, and, even once - bless this person! - Spanish (they could tell I sounded funny, but couldn't put their finger on exactly what it was.)  Of course, needless to say, most people still assume Gringo, and I've got a ways to go before this one counts in my favour.

Culture. Mexican culture includes music, food, clothes, hairstyles, ways of interacting, concepts of personal space, and many other distinct features.  Let's see - I listen to some Mexican music, but I'd like to become more familiar with it.  I have Mexican food down; my wife is Mexican, and she complains that I make her eat to much mole.  I also eat spicier food than she does, and I know how to make a number of Mexican dishes, more or less authentically.

I loose a lot of ground in clothes, hairstyle, ways of interacting and personal space.  Although people aren't consciously aware of it, I believe these factors are actually as important as language and accent.  My wife sees people in the street, and says, "That girl is from Mexico City," without hearing them speak.  Their clothes, movements, and, I believe, even facial expressions are strong indicators.  While Americans and northern Europeans look the same, as far as "racial" features are concerned, they don't look the same in terms of clothes, movements or even expressions.  I think many people from countries with a well defined culture can sometimes identify their compatriots before hearing them speak.  The only fool-proof method I've found for Canada is the MEC bags (Mountain Equipment Co-op), but this only works for younger, back-packer-type travellers.  I've also found that more Canadians travel alone or in couples; but this is a huge generalization.  I don't think I can recognize facial expressions.

Ethnicity.  Specifically, the "Common ancestry" part of ethnicity, which more generally also includes the points above.  Mexico has no official ethnicity policy, as far as I am aware of (as opposed to what I've heard about some European countries, that apparently make citizenship easier for people who can prove ancestry from that nationality.)  But the most common ethnicity is Mestizo, or mixed between the Spanish colonists and various native peoples, and this is the ethnicity most people identify as "Mexican."  A very small portion of the populations (less than personal claims) is purely one or the other.  Strangely enough, I've known people who are very obviously of mostly native ancestry, but claim, very adamantly, that they are "Spanish."  Some of them are about as Spanish as I am Chinese, ethnically speaking.  By these terms, I'm just entirely left out of the picture.

Unknown to most people, Mexicans included, is that Mexico is actually is more of ethnic blend than this simple combination.  There have been waves of immigrants from places like Bohemia and Lebanon, leaving some distinct footprints in Mexican culture.  Some people have told me that out in the villages of Sinaloa there are tall, blond people who descended from the central European immigrants.  ("Tall" and "blond" are relative, however.)  One of the favourite kinds of tacos, "Al Pastor" (click here to see see a post with a picture) was influenced by Lebonese kebabs.

What should work in my favor, though, is the fact that my ethnic background actually has a strong presence in Mexico these days; the Old Colony Mennonites, or "Mexican Mennonites" which they're often called just because of this fact.  People in Mexico know who they are, and the cheese they make has gained considerable fame.  They've been around here since the 20's now, so many of them would only have "Mexican" to claim as their nationality; ethnically, however, they and Mexicans don't make any connection to one another.  Their situation is somewhat similar to that of many Jewish communities, with the exception that they have remained linguistically and economically distinct; while they speak a dialect of German (my "first" language, actually) and live in the country in fairly economically independent communities, all Jewish people I know here speak Spanish as their family language, have Spanish names, and live in the cities (in somewhat closed-off enclaves, mind you.)

Well, the bottom line is, if you have to sit around trying to prove to people that you really are somewhat Mexican, it's a pretty good sign that you aren't; true Mexicans don't have to prove it.  It reminds me of something Jewish again; I once asked a Canadian Jew if he was "practicing." His reply was that he didn't need practice.   Real Mexicans don't need practice and don't need evidence.

So, for now, I'll have to be happy with a passport, birth certificate and a voter's ID card.

What language does your dog speak?

My Son and Our Dog

My dog speaks English; at least he responds to English commands better than Spanish ones.

One day my wife was at the vet with a friend of ours, and she repeated over and over, with absolutely no result "sienta te."  Finally she said, "Simba, sit." The dog sat immediately.

The reason for this is clear; I've always been the dog-lover in the couple, and I was the one who did the little training which our dog had.  He responds to "come" much better than to "ven" and upon the command "go home" runs directly to our door.

My three-year-old, however, disagrees. He has started stringing more words together and distinguishing his English sentences from his Spanish sentences, he has started talking in Spanish to the dog.  One day when I noticed this, and asked him, "Does Simba speak English or Spanish?"

"Spanish," was his immediate and very confident answer.

So I demonstrated to him that the dog responds much better to English.

"No," he replied with unwavering confidence, "Simba speak Spanish.  English, NO."

During this last week, since our second son was born, I noticed the three-year-old also speaks Spanish to the baby.  So, I also asked about the baby's language.  Again, Spanish was the final answer.  I demonstrated that I could speak English to the baby.  That was fine, but the older brother insisted that the baby spoke Spanish, not English.

So, worried about the status of English in my child's world, I asked him if he spoke English or Spanish.

"Both."  At least that was a relief.

I'm going to persist with the dog, however.  Our dog speaks English.  Even the neighbors know that, and have learned a handful of English commands just for him.  Hopefully, I can get my son to acknowledge this at some point.

Raising Kids to be Bilingual

I have one son who is almost 3, and he is learning Spanish and English.  I had the fortune of working as an English teacher for adults for the first 3 and a half years that I was living in Mexico, and I asked a few more experienced (and better) English teachers for tips on teaching young children 2 languages.  The approach my wife and I chose was that one would speak only Spanish (my wife who is Mexican) and the other English (myself.)  Despite our best intentions, we've made a few careless mistakes:

• Teaching the wrong word first, because it seemed easier for him to say
• My wife taught him "meme" for "sleep" and I taught him "yum yum" for "eat"
• We are now paying for this, fighting uphill to convince him that those words are not correct
• He can say "sleep," "dormir," "eat," and "comer" but he has tended to stick with the first, wrong words we taught him ("yum, yum" has finally been replaced with "eat," but it took a good deal of persistence)

• Accepting Spanglish combinations instead of insisting on attempts at only one language
• This one's tough; we want to be praise him when he says new words, but after we let him get away with saying "yo eat" once, that's they way he always says "I want to eat" now, even though he's capable of saying this almost correctly in both English and Spanish

To make this all more fun, he throws in some of his own inventions; "bo, bo" means something is falling or hitting another object; "ow" means something is broken has come apart.  So, when he tells the neighbour "yo ball bo, bo. Bus ow," she just looks at us with a look on her face saying, "I know all of that means something, but I really have no idea what."  (Translation: "I threw the ball, which hit the [toy] bus and broke it.")  He likes to re-enact, so this helps at times.

Recently I've started the habit of saying "I don't understand 'agua'," cuing him to repeat the phrase saying "water" instead (and my wife the same in Spanish.)  Now and then, when he's being stubborn, I have to lead him into saying the English word like this:

• Me: Who says "agua"?     Son: Mom!
• Me: Who says "water"?   Son: Dad!
• Me: What does mom say?    Son: Agua.
• Me: What does dad say?    Son: Water.
• Me: So, what did you want?  Son: Water.

 I don't do this too often, since translating word for word is also a bad habit.  Sometimes he makes a game of it, giving the wrong answer, and getting a mischievous smile on his face.

He knows that when a question is in English, he answers "yeah" and when it's in Spanish he answers "si" (without hesitation or cues.) Little by little, he's getting the difference.  He has also started a bilingual pre-school which seems to be helping.  I suppose I should read more about this.

If you've got any suggestions, feel free to share.