Mexican Birthday Parties and Introverts

As far as I can can tell, a typical Mexican birthday party for children includes 4 standard items:

The Song and Cake for a Triple Birthday

• The Piñata - most people know how a piñata works.  Piñatas in the shapes of favorite movie/TV characters are popular.
• The Birthday Song & Candles - "Las Mañanitas" is more elaborate than "Happy Birthday" in both tune and words, with poetic complements like "the day you were born was the same day all flowers were born." Like "Happy Birthday" it is sung with the candles lit on the cake.
• The Birthday Cake.  After blowing out the candles, the child (or adult) takes a bite of the cake.  Usually someone shoves their face into the cake while they are taking the bite - a stark contrast to the lovely complements of the song. (Contrasts like this are typical of Mexican culture).
• A bag of Candies for the kids adds to what they already collected in the piñata.

Of course, other games and activities are often added.

Ever since moving to Playa del Carmen the already very festive season from November to February has been made even more festive with many birthday parties (one of which is my own on the same day as my wife's saint day.)  Today I was at one birthday party in which by the time the piñata was broken, the boy who was turning 6 was upset and sitting on his aunts knee, sulking.  I don't know about what.  During the song, he just sat there staring blankly into the candles.  He refused to blow them out, which his 3-year-old sister did for him in the end.  His dad took it upon himself to shove his face into cake.  He never did take a bite, and after his mother wiped the icing off, he went upstairs crying, and the party went on, everyone very happy and festive.

Although the parents told me this boy was just upset because of some meaningless temper tantrum, it made imagine how I would have been as a boy.  I was very introvert, and I hated being the centre of attention during the song and candles.  Getting my face shoved in the cake would have probably been enough to make me go up stairs to sulk alone for the rest of the evening.  For two of the four birthdays I've had in Mexico I did get my face shoved in the cake, but now, as an adult, it's fun for me. (Of course, playing the game of pretending to avoid it is part of the show, and makes it that much more fun for everyone when that unexpected quiet person beside you is the one to give you the shove; last time it was my mother-in-law.)  But as a kid things would have been different.

Even as an introvert adult sometimes Mexico can be overbearing; shortly after getting married, I visited my wife's uncle's home.  All the uncles and aunts wanted to see us dance together, which I'm not good at, and I don't like doing, especially if people are specifically watching me.  The more I protested, the more aunts and uncles joined in the urging.  Finally I gave in.

"You're right.  He really can't dance," said one aunt.
"No, no, definitely not," said another. "When are you going to teach him?"

I sat down, red with embarrassment.  The aunts went back to their conversations, and the uncles went back to offering every type of liquor they had available; "offering" means pouring a glass of liquor and putting in front of you, then asking if you wouldn't prefer to have another in addition (replacement or refusal weren't options.)  No body, except me, seemed to give the bad dance performance any further thought.

Today my parents, who are visiting, saw the preparations for the party across the road and the large number of guests and thought it must be a special age.  As far as I can tell, 6 years isn't one of the special parties. In general, however, I think birthdays here get much more attention.  By our standards, they might be overdone; but by any standards Mexican parties are a lot of fun.

On the whole, I believe being an introvert kid in Mexico would be harder than being an introvert kid in a country like Canada.  I'll be writing more on this in days to come.

What language does your dog speak?

My Son and Our Dog

My dog speaks English; at least he responds to English commands better than Spanish ones.

One day my wife was at the vet with a friend of ours, and she repeated over and over, with absolutely no result "sienta te."  Finally she said, "Simba, sit." The dog sat immediately.

The reason for this is clear; I've always been the dog-lover in the couple, and I was the one who did the little training which our dog had.  He responds to "come" much better than to "ven" and upon the command "go home" runs directly to our door.

My three-year-old, however, disagrees. He has started stringing more words together and distinguishing his English sentences from his Spanish sentences, he has started talking in Spanish to the dog.  One day when I noticed this, and asked him, "Does Simba speak English or Spanish?"

"Spanish," was his immediate and very confident answer.

So I demonstrated to him that the dog responds much better to English.

"No," he replied with unwavering confidence, "Simba speak Spanish.  English, NO."

During this last week, since our second son was born, I noticed the three-year-old also speaks Spanish to the baby.  So, I also asked about the baby's language.  Again, Spanish was the final answer.  I demonstrated that I could speak English to the baby.  That was fine, but the older brother insisted that the baby spoke Spanish, not English.

So, worried about the status of English in my child's world, I asked him if he spoke English or Spanish.

"Both."  At least that was a relief.

I'm going to persist with the dog, however.  Our dog speaks English.  Even the neighbors know that, and have learned a handful of English commands just for him.  Hopefully, I can get my son to acknowledge this at some point.

Childbirth in IMSS - Mexico's Social Insurance Health Care System

The new IMSS hospital where my son was born

Over the past week and an a half, I haven't been posting much, because exactly a week ago my second son was born!  (I'm finally getting back into the rhythm of day to day life again, so I think my posts should be a little more on track again.)  This is, precisely, the event that I'm going to write about today.

In my last post, 2 days ago, I  wrote about the variety in Mexico's health care, and the difference between private health care, and the cheaper options whether public, charity or just inexpensive private services.  I mentioned the Mexican Institute for Social Security (IMSS) which is a government-run system funded primarily by deductions from workers' checks; the same workers who get the deductions have access to the service.  A small number of people also pay an annual insurance fee, which works just like any private insurance, but is cheaper.

It was in a hospital from IMSS where my son was born.  The hospital is brand new, offering long-awaited specialized services to the IMSS system for Playa del Carmen, which so far had only been a family health care clinic (see picture.)  The new hospital is very well organized, looks nice, has plenty of seating in the waiting areas (this contrasts to the old clinic, where people waiting usually have to stand up.)  The seats are also shiny stainless steel and relatively comfortable; I sat on one for 12 hours, and felt fine.

A lot of Mexicans, especially from Mexico City it seems, have a very negative impression of IMSS, and there are some of horror stories kicking around; I even found a few on the internet for Cancun. 

The service we had in the new hospital, however, was amazing, with no complaints.

We didn't just trust luck, however, or pick IMSS just because it was cheaper for us; we investigated just like we would private health care service.  When we found out my wife was pregnant, we began doing our research and investigated several private hospitals.  The least expensive option was about $1500 dollars for a natural birth, or $1800 for a c-section.  Since from what I understand about 60% percent of births in Mexico end up being c-sections, we decided to count on this expense.

Partway through the pregnancy we got work coverage through IMSS, and we investigated to find out that they do cover childbirth for those covered through work even if they were covered only after the pregnancy started.  So we began to consider this as option.  With all the negative opinions out there about IMSS, we decided to get some first hand stories.

The IMSS Family Health Clinic

My first boss in Cuernavaca had already told us that both his children were born in IMSS, and the service was excellent for childbirth.  But this was 15-20 years ago in a city a couple thousand kilometers away.  At the time, our brand-new IMSS hospital here in Playa had not yet opened, and the clinic didn't handle childbirth; this was only done in Cancun.

So, we set to work looking for neighbors who had recently had babies and asking them if they had been born in IMSS.  We found about 3 or 4, and all of them had the same story; excellent service, no problems.

We continued our investigation and found only two downsides.  One is that you get the doctor who happens to be there at the moment; no matter who your doctor is, or even if you have a specific time programmed, you wouldn't know who the doctor will be, and even if you did, there would simply be no choice in the matter.  Since all feedback had been positive, we weren't too concerned about this fact.

The other was that the father cannot be in the delivery room.  I believe that this is important; but when it came right down to it, my wife and I sat down one evening and realized that this was our only real hesitation; so we asked ourselves, "Is this worth $2000 dollars?"

Our answer was "No."  As important as this, we know that many mothers have had their children without their husband at their side, including her with our first son.  We decided to have our baby in IMSS.

The only third difficulty was the fact that it had to be in Cancun, about 45 minutes away; IMSS offers an ambulance service from Playa, but we did some calculation and realized that even 2 taxis and a hotel room would total about $150 dollars at the most.  Several neighbors had offered us rides or to lend us their cars as well.

This issue, however, sorted itself out; we knew the new hospital would be opening around the same time the baby was born.  When it finally opened, we went for a few check ups and tried out the emergency room services (that's where people go in for child birth); everything was great, and the service was good.  (This contrasts to the family clinic, where the receptionists always talk to you like you've done something wrong and you're wasting their time; the doctors, even there, however, are usually helpful.) 3 days before the baby was born, our neighbor, who works there, informed us that the first 2 deliveries had taken place the night before; everything was set to have our baby in the new IMSS hospital a 10 minute taxi ride away from our house.

The night before the baby was born, my wife had been feeling intense contractions for almost 20 hours, and she was admitted to the hospital at 8 pm.

• At 9 pm the doctor informed me that they would be giving her an injection to help ease the pain since her tolerance for the pain was lower than normal.
• At 11:30 pm, the doctor gave me another update, telling me everything was going well - slowly but well.
• Until about 4 am I had been  fairly calm, knowing that during the night shift, news was only given if there was some complication.  No news was good news.  I had read about 100 pages of The Lord of the Rings in the waiting room, waiting for any announcement. I started getting nervous, excited etc., certain that my child had been born.  I went out for a few short walks, getting some coffee at the nearby all-night convenience store.
• At 6 am, I started getting phone calls from my parents and in-laws wondering why there wasn't any news yet.  I had to explain the system to them.  Needless to say, the phone calls made me more anxious to get the news.
• At 8 am, the day shift finally arrived, and the nurse finally had news!  The baby had been born at 6:40 am.  Both the mother and baby were fine, and were in recovery.  Since everything had gone well, my wife and the baby would be released at around 1 pm.  I went home to rest.  I slept for only about half an hour, and took a shower, shaved, made a lot of phone calls.
• At 12:30 pm went back to the hospital with my 3 year old son and my mother-in-law.  I entered to help my wife change, hold my baby for the first time and take care of the documentation.  The couple I work for were kind enough to come and pick us up at the hospital, and were waiting for us in the waiting room.

The Baby's First Picture - In the Waiting Room

On the way home, my wife said it had been a hard, long labour, but the service had, again, been excellent.  The whole night either the doctor or the nurse was with her.  At one point the nurse put on music, and was very supportive during the most difficult parts.  She said that they treated her even better than where our first son was born, which is a reputable hospital in Mexico City specialized in childbirth.  She said she couldn't have been happier with the service!

Perhaps the most difficult part was the bureaucracy we had to go through in the family clinic in the earlier stages of the pregnancy; but that belongs to another post, where I'll complain about all my encounters with Mexican bureaucracy at the same time.

I don't doubt that other patients in other places, with other services have had their bad experiences.  But for us, the service was excellent.  We made the right decision in choosing the IMSS hospital for our childbirth.

Mexican Health Care – The Really Cheap Side of Things

The Playa del Carmen Family Health Care Clinic

One of growing forms of generating economic growth in many countries is what's called "medical tourism" which means that people travel to another country to take advantage of better availability, shorter waiting and, most importantly, lower prices, of healthcare. This industry, which is usually treated very closely to tourism rather than healthcare on a government level, has also been gaining a good deal of attention in Mexico. "High quality private hospitals for much cheaper prices than in the U.S., more personalized attention, and virtually no waiting lines," is the presentation, which is not completely off the mark.

What medical tourists may or may not know (or may or may not care about) is that the part of Mexican healthcare they see is just small glimpse of a very broad, and like just about everything else in Mexico, extremely contrasting system, or, more correctly, series of almost unrelated systems that form Mexico's health care options. In fact, the options which are presented to them, are the pricier, prettier, and frillier options in Mexico, which for the majority of residents here in most cases would be considered just too expensive.

Many of the Americans who are up in arms these days about the government controlling their private lives and enterprises would probably like what they see here; if officially there is government control, in reality it amounts to very little, as far as I can see at least. The only one constant control I've seen is that all practising doctors have to have a "cedula profesional" which is a professional I.D. number and certificate which certifies that they have completed the studies and received the degree required to be a medical doctor.

Putting my biases and political views on the issue aside, there are definitely ups and downs; I could write a lot about these (and I will in the future) but to begin, one of the real ups is that really, really cheap healthcare is available. As most socialist-leaning observers would expect, there is definitely a divergence between what's available for the rich, who have the best available on the spot all the time since they can pay for it on the moment, and what's available for the poor, who have to settle for whatever's available, often waiting long, and sometimes not even having access to some services which are readily available nearby, but not to them since they don't have the cash or the credit to admitted to those hospitals. There are a number of hospitals where, if you don't have a credit card on-hand with enough credit to cover the process and considerably more when you come in the emergency door (or the really big insurance plan), you'll be left unattended, regardless of your medical state. Ironically, these are usually considered the best.

On the other hand, there are some amazing surprises where charity or low-priced hospitals are among the best available. Some use income levels as criteria to admitting patients, excluding the rich; others use the medical condition as criteria and charge on a sliding-scale based on income level; others are just a free-for-all, and are used by the poor as well as the better-off who want to save some cash. Unfortunately, these are usually available only in cities. Places like Mexico City will, however, have a very large variety of very specialized, reputable hospitals in these categories.

Recently, I have been making growing use of two services that are very accessible in price; one is the Mexican Institute for Social Security (IMSS), and the other is a chain of discount pharmacies which often have a small doctor's office on premise (if you're Mexican or live in Mexico, you'll know exactly which ones I'm talking about). Tomorrow, I'm going to write about my recent experience with IMSS when my second son was born, and another day I'll write about why I choose to use those little doctors' offices in the pharmacies – the main reason is not always the price.

Mole - One of my Favourite Foods

Mole (Poblano) over Chicken with Sesame Seeds

One of my favourite foods in Mexico and beyond is mole (pronounced "molay").  Mole is a type of rich, spicy sauce, most often served hot over chicken.  In its normal form, it is a dark brown sauce with a spicy flavour (it has a number of different kinds of hot peppers in it).

Most people buy mole either in a paste form, or in a powder form.  In central Mexico, you can buy both forms of mole in bulk in large markets.  In all areas, supermarkets and little convenience stores sell paste mole in little jars, or ready to serve in tetra packs (you just have to heat it up.)  A very popular supermarket brand is Doña Maria, which I believe is sold in cities the U.S. and Canada as well.  It's good, but it doesn't compare to what you can get in the markets.




From either paste or powder form, it is mixed with hot chicken broth , to the desired texture, and brought to a boil.  After being served over a chicken leg, either sesame seeds or thick cream (similar to sour cream) with onions are served on top.

Another way of serving mole is in enmoladas, which are like enchiladas, but with mole instead of green or red tomato sauce.  These usually have chicken wrapped in the tortillas, and cream with onions on top, often with cheese as well.

Both kinds of mole dishes are very common in all kinds of restaurants, whether they're suburban style chains, or the inexpensive little restaurants that sell meals to go for about $3.

In villages, mole is also made from scratch.  I've seen this being done once.  Although I don't know all the ingredients, and I'm sure the recipe varies from region to region, the ingredients I know of are:

Enmoladas with 3 different kinds of sauce (the onions are usually chopped)

• oil or lard
• bread or cracker crumbs
• hot peppers
• sesame
• sugar
• peanuts
• salt
• cocao/chocolate
• spices like pepper and clove

The pastes and powders they sell already include all of these, ground up and blended.  Women in villages use their stone grinding board to make the paste.  One of my favorite moles is made by my wife's great aunt in her grandpa's village; it's dark and spicy, and not sweet at all.  It's served over tamales with beans.



I know some people who go into the markets, where there are maybe 20 varieties mole for sale - some sweater, some spicier, some more bitter -  and try a number of them (the vendors give small samples,) blending different types to get the exact flavor they want. Those who prefer it sweeter will add an extra bar of chocolate or two when preparing it at home.  When I lived near the market in Cuernavaca, I used to do this (except for the blending part - I never developed my mole skills that far.)

Mole in a market - you can see brown, red, orange and green mole

As mentioned above, the most common form is dark brown, but I have also seen green, light brown, red, orange, and black.  Each one, I believe, is based on a different kind of pepper, and has slightly different ingredients; for example, from what I understand, green mole includes pumpkin seeds.

One variety which seems to be a favorite is "mole Poblano" which comes from the city of Puebla, about 2 hours east of Mexico City.  It's very dark (almost black) and very sweet.  There are a few restaurants in the historic downtown of Puebla which are the classics for this kind of mole. (The picture at the top is of mole Poblano.)

For all non-Mexicans, I really suggest trying mole.  It has a very strong, spicy flavor; if you don't like it the first time, try another kind. 
Personally, I've loved every kind I've tried.  I've only had mole once I didn't like much, but that's one out of hundreds of times.  In fact, my wife, who is 100% Mexican, born and raised in the rougher parts of Mexico City, complains that I "make her" eat mole too often.  I always just reply that someday she'll be as Mexican as I am, and appreciate eating mole as much as I do.

Vitamin T - The Mexican Special

Torta de Tamal - or Guagaloto - Double Vitamins!

Once, during my first months living in Mexico, in Cuernavaca, I was giving an English class in the Nissan plant there; the topic of the class was health food.  A couple of the students mentioned different kinds of natural juices, vegetables, etc.  Then the third student spoke:

"I follow the vitamin T diet," he said with a humorous little smile; "Tacos, Tortas and Tamales!"

Tacos al Pastor - a Favorite

The whole group chuckled. You can probably imagine that this isn't the healthiest of diets.  If you're not Mexican, you'll probably recognize tacos and tamales, but maybe not tortas.  I'll give a little description of the three, since there are a few interesting variations.  Most are very delicious, but equally unhealthy

Tacos.  Most people know what these are, but in Mexico they tend to put more meat (greasier and tastier) and fewer vegetables, with only  sprinkle of onions and coriander leaves.  Tacos have many tasty variations, including "al Pastor" which has meat from a spit, like Doner Kebabs, but with Mexican spices.  Tacos deserve several posts on their own.  Around Mexico city small ones can be found for as low as 15 cents a piece (you'll need to order about 10), or larger ones with more expensive toppings like shrimp for up to $3 a piece; one of these could be an entire meal.

A Classic Torta - Lots of Meat

Tortas.  This is a kind of sandwich, like a sub, but on a shorter piece of bread.  The toppings also vary more; it can include many of the different meats they put on tacos, scrambled eggs and much more.  These can have more vegetables, or even be vegetarian, including toppings like avocados, tomatoes or lettuce, or they can be piled high with 5 kinds of greasy meat with cheese melted over it.  You choose.  Tortas vary in size, and can cost anywhere from $1 a piece to $5 a piece.

Tamales.  Mexico City has it's favorite type of tamales, the kind wrapped in corn husk.  These all have the same cake-like texture, but can have a large variety of flavors, from sweet with raisins, to chicken or hot peppers with cheese, or a spicy sauce called mole.  You can even find "tortas de tamales" also called "guajalotos" which are tamales stuck inside of role.  Outside of the central region, they make different varieties, often wrapped in banana leaves, almost inevitably with chicken.  These have a smoother texture.  These have many varieties, and this is a broad generalization. The Guatemalan variety which you can find in Toronto is very similar.  People like to have a hot, sweet drink called "atole" with tamales, especially a variety called "champurado" which is chocolate flavored.  In Mexico city a tamale is about 50 cents, and likewise atole.  Here in Playa del Carmen, they're double that.


(I think there might be a bunch of other t-word foods that fall into this diet, but these are definitely among the favorites.)

If your diet avoids either fat or carbs, vitamin T might not do you much good.  My guess is that this kind of diet has a very close connection to the fact that many Mexicans suffer from gastritis - a word that I can't really remember hearing before I moved here.

BUT all three are absolutely delicious!  I also believe that in moderation, they're nothing wrong with eating this stuff, just not every day, every meal, like that student of mine back in Cuernavaca.

Cafe de Olla - One of my Favorites!

A Typical Clay Pot with Hot Coffee

It's been too long since I've written about coffee.  One of my favorite types of coffee anywhere is the Mexican "Cafe de Olla."  It's a strong, dark and delicious kind of coffee that is very traditional in Mexico.  These are the ingredients:

• 1/2 Cinnamon Stick (ground cinnamon doesn't work as well)
• "Piloncillo" - this is a hard cone of raw sugar (see picture); in it's absence you can replace this with about 1/2 cup of raw sugar
• 4 liters of water
• 10 tablespoons of ground coffee; I've usually seen that they use a dark roast, medium grind; but I've also made it with fine grind
• A clay pot, if available - see picture. (If not, any pot will do; the word "olla," actually refers to the fact that it's made in a pot rather than a coffee maker)

             (These are the quantities I use; they can be reduced, or adjusted to taste, but if you're using the piloncillo, it's really hard to cut.)

"Piloncillo," Cones of Raw Sugar

• Place the cinnamon stick (broken up into pieces) and the piloncillo or raw sugar in the pot of cold water.
• Bring the water to a boil, stirring occasionally until the sugar is entirely dissolved. (At this point your kitchen will have a wonderful cinnamon aroma, and in fact it could be drunk this way as a cinnamon tea!)
• Add the coffee while the water is still boiling, and turn off immediately, covering with a lid.
• Let the coffee "brew" for a about 4-5 minutes, or until the coffee settles to the bottom. I've found that stirring it once after about 3 minutes, and leaving for a few minutes more helps it settle.  After the grounds settle, DO NOT STIR IT. You want to make sure the grounds and the cinnamon stay at the bottom.
• Served with a ladle as soon as the grounds settle, being sure to scoop out only the liquid, not disturbing grounds from the bottom.  (Of course, you'll probably get a ground or two in the coffee, but if you're careful, this can be pretty much nothing.)

Traditionally, it's served in little clay cups, which are very typical in rural areas in central Mexico (see picture.)

A traditional clay cup.

Although it breaks one of the basic rules of coffee, that water shouldn't be exposed to grounds for more than 4 or 5 minutes, it's a very delicious kind of coffee!  Every rule has at least one exception; Greek and Arabic coffee likewise break this rule.  Some people also add cloves, I guess along with the cinnamon and sugar at the beginning.

Give it a try at home. If you like coffee, I'm sure you'll like this variation.

Tomorrow, or another day, I'll write about the places where I first tried "cafe de olla."